give to live

there's a thing i wanna tell ya
some stuff you should know
though it's gonna be hard to let go
gonna be tough to let it all out

when i was younger i thought i had to give to live;
to get the love i wanted
to get the praise
to be adored
give to get; that was the lesson
i internalized early on
no deposit, no return
a lesson i took to heart
i gave myself up; in lots of ways
more ways than one
to more than i wish i had.

it worked for a while; i gave and i got
not the forever & ever kind of love
I got love in return; temporary and shallow
i was temporary; life was shallow
i fell into a loop
into a trap of my own design
my family didn't know me
i didn't love anyone properly;
I didn’t love me
i couldn't explain what i thought anymore
couldn't tell anyone what i really believed
my beliefs had put me in a funk
led me straight to my personal hell.

When I found you I found me
When I love you; I love me
You made the escape route clear,
a part of me had to die...
the one part i'd clung to for so long
the part i thought would honor my dearly departed
i had to stop the giving with no return cycle
I could give it up; make a new start
Live life with love; not to get love
Giving doesn’t hurt anymore
Doesn’t expect compensation
Now living comes easy
I can give and live
This is the only life i want to invest in
The only way i want to live.