Saturday, July 8, 2017
At best, I'm distracted today. Thinking of future and not so future plans. I know that God has His plan for my life - just not sure what it is exactly at this point. I've been all over the place lately (last year) - small group for me; small group at work for others; prayer group at work; participating in the ASL Choir; going to Ukraine (my heart literally aches for the kids there!)... and most recent events: holidays (oven ordering fiasco; Thanksgiving with family; serving others; doing it on a different day?); Lauren moving out soon - actually makes me tear up to write that... I'm a wreck.
And on top of all of that I read Philippians 3 this morning and then heard a part of a message from Dr. Chuck Swindoll on the way to work about wanting God's will while I want my own too (monkey with his hand inside a gourd grasping rice - he can't get his hand out while grasping "what he wants" and he gets captured) - read: it doesn't work. Philippians 3 was all about the fact that we are to give up ourselves and our desires to be all about what Jesus did for us and to understand that that was so great an act that nothing we've ever done or will ever do could ever compare - "therefore, I count it all as loss".
I feel a whole lot of loss at the moment. My job feels awkward and like I don't belong anymore. I want more time with Lauren. I want more time with Jason - we had some fun silly moments this weekend. I want more time with Jesus - super personal, quiet holy time with my Abba Father.
July 8, 2017 - Apologies for the abrupt end... but thought I'd post this and get it out of 'draft' mode... This was in early December 2016...
Thursday, June 29, 2017
I am longing to feel deeply for these loves again. To be broken open - to be raw for days on end whether it means tears or maniacal laughter. I ache for the desire to be so wrapped up in caring for kids who've been less than marginalized. They've been emotionally discarded, dropped off at the doorstep of the human equivalent of Goodwill. I hold them in my heart - have for a year now - but would rather meet their direct gazes with an assurance of care and concern for their hearts and minds by the One who made them and loves them unconditionally.
My God. I miss those kids. Lord Jesus, give me the chance to return and to love them like you love me. My heart has been torn asunder - into a thousand pieces.
Friday, August 15, 2014
So I didn't get to post every day but am at least going to tell you in this post about stuff that happened... Not a lot happened. She went to school, drove most days, came home for an hour, went back for volleyball practice.
We had the volleyball parents meeting on Wednesday night... Not really sure about this coach, but are hoping that things go well and that Lauren gets good advice, coaching and playing time. We love watching her play!
She's not able to wear running shorts to school this year (new coach, new rules, plus they really aren't dress code but she has been able to pull it off. I think most teachers recognize her height and realize that they don't make shorts long enough to fit their "fingertips" rule for her. Oh well, she's wearing jeans and trying to figure out Iowa to wear yoga pants (needs longer tshirts).
She's working as an assistant for one of her classes (supposed to be with kids with disabilities). Doug Peters (the teacher) kept her for his office (athletics). She set up his wireless keyboard the first day and rearranged the peripherals to better suit his needs... She's a tech-savvy-kid!
She is doing well in AP Stats. Hoping that continues.
First football game is next Friday... She and Becca will be in the stands of course!
Monday, August 11, 2014
So. It's here, Lauren's first day of the last year of high school. Yeah of high school, not of the rest of her life. I'm going to try and write a little something every day this year... 1. To see if I can do it and 2. To give Lauren something at graduation or after that she can look back on and remember that the the things that seemed awful either really weren't or they didn't last long and that all the good that happened are memories to last a lifetime. So, here goes...
Day 1 - She slapped a LMHS sticker in the front window of Jason's Saturn last night and took off this morning. I didn't quite get done what I wanted to for her first day... I have cinnamon rolls still in the fridge... They'll definitely keep until tomorrow morning. She actually may need them more tomorrow than today anyway. I did put chicken and rice in the oven for dinner tonight... On a delay timer. Hoping that works! And no pictures this morning. 😕 Sort of a bummer for me, but it's more a tradition that a need, so, I went with her request this time. I didn't last year and got a cruddy (but funny and infamous) pic of her hand in front of her face.
Jason and I are riding together this morning. Here's Jason's thoughts... She has the car, she made it to school on time... Increased responsibility... Doing good so far. He was actually pretty sentimental last Friday...
His text to me:
I was just thinking, on another note, how cool its gonna be watching Lo run in, warm up and play varsity level. :-D
I remember dropping her off from half way through 5th to 8th grades...
Softie. 😆 And I love that about him.
Praying for Lauren today... Praying that she's right where God wants her to be: all the right places at just the right time and that He'll give her all the right thoughts and words.
Friday, February 14, 2014
For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
A abundance of sand
B the beach
C conch shells
D days at the beach
E eateries at the beach
F fishies in the sea
G Gulf beaches
H highways that lead to beaches
I Ice cream after the beach
J jumping on the beach
K kids that love the beach
L laying on the beach
M Mondays on the beach
N nighttime walks on the beach
O oceans unending
P peaceful time on the beach
Q quality & quantity time at the beach
R restful days on the beach
S sunrises & sunsets
T time at the beach
U umbrellas for shade
V vivid colors at the beach
W small and big waves at the beach
X eXtreme sports on the beach
Y yellow sun
Z zoo of creatures in the ocean
That's what we are thankful for God!
Monday, April 22, 2013
So, I've started a new job; I'm an employee of HD Supply now. :-) And with a new job, I usually get an empty desk, aka, a blank slate to decorate, organize... To add little reflections of me and my personality. :-D
I love this part... :-) a chance to add little things that mean TONS to me but may not seem like much to others. And then also to add things that will just open doors to conversations with all of these new people I'm meeting and getting to know.
So, representin' me... (see picture at bottom of post). We've got my new key chain, with scripture to memorize as our small group and I go through the "What On Earth Am I Here For?" series with Rise Community Church... Then my Phillies (Woohoo, Go Phightin' Phils!)... And then Russian nesting dolls from my lovely, sweet daughter, Lauren. The dolls are fun to just put together, take apart, put together... Particularly while thinking... And this isn't to say that I don't have a photo of Lauren on my desk; I do, just not one from this year. Anyway that's a longer story, so.... Back to the desk stuff.
The little glass thingy is a paperweight (talk about something being so out of date), from my Dad's desk, from back in his days working at NASA/Cape Canaveral. Love remembering my dad... He loved Jesus and he was an awesome loving father to me and my sisters and husband to my Mom. And I recall that my sisters and I would use this paperweight on our desks at home when we were "playing office". :-)
The next item is a very recent addition... It was a gift from a coworker at my last job. Besides the great message on it, and the beauty of a bird with a heart-design right in the middle, it reminds me of all of the wonderful relationships I’ve had the privilege of having. It reminds me that I’ve moved on to the next spot in my work life, in order to build more relationships, to do the best job that I can for the new company and to look back and be thankful for what’s been given to me in terms of friendships, experiences and life-impacting moments. It reminds me of the dove that came down from Heaven when Jesus was being baptized by John – when God, our Father, said, ‘This is my son, in whom I am well pleased’. It reminds me to keep Jesus first – to follow Him, instead of trying to lead myself and everyone around me.
Lastly, one of the sillier things about me; many different colors of markers and pens and erasers and all sorts of office-type items are indicative of my undying love of office supplies and stationery. Call me weird, but I’d be willing to bet there’s something that make you go: “ooh, cool!” I don’t know, but I can spend a solid couple of hours in an office supply store (um – so can my daughter! School supply shopping is almost as big as school-dance dress shopping!). All those years playing office as a kid must’ve done something to me. ;)
Anyway, that’s a peek into the person and personality that God made out of me.