Snowboarding!

Snowboarding!
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Monday, November 9, 2009

Christianity & Jury Duty - Polar Opposites?

Geez, never really considered this before, but I received a Jury Summons several weeks ago, and I reported today to the court. Got called for two different panels, got picked for the stickier, ickier case (can't tell you about it, I'd havta, well you know...).

On my way out the door, (not 15 minutes after finding out that I'm sitting in on this trial tomorrow), I'm thinking, Ok Jesus... what is it that you want me to do here? What can I say? Who can I show you off to? Where might a door open? Will I be ready? Please, dear Jesus, make me ready, with the right things to say and do.

Then I get home and wonder... sorry...knowing the case I have to hear... Jesus, how can I sit in judgement of this person? Is this my place? The State of Florida says it is... heck, even the Federal government says it is. However, I am a Christian first, and an American second (if those are the only two things that we're considering here). So, not to be legalistic (ha ha... that would be turning God's 'rules' on our government's rules), but does a Christian have an inherent issue with serving as a juror?

So, being the 'input-girl'... I googled... and found some pretty stringent sites that quote scripture... "they" say that it isn't a Christian's place to judge (Judge not, that you be not judged). I know that we're to be like Jesus... Didn't He call out the wrong when it was presented? Not to condemn, but to highlight so that the person could right his/her wrong? Is that the issue? We don't have a way for the 'criminals' to right their wrongs?

Things that make me go... hmmmmm....

corrected vision

Father God,
Thank you for the image you gave me this morning
To correct my previous thought and assumption
I thought I had four people that were directing me
As I was walking through life
Lynda who prayed with me at every opportunity
I wonder now if you didn’t protect me from my own clumsiness
Just so that I’d go see Lynda the chiropractor
To have another chance to come back to you
Through the Christ-love she eloquently portrayed and shared with me
I thought that my work life spent with Cathi and seeing her growth
Away from complete independence and self-reliance
And toward you and what you wanted for her
Was just another ‘highlight’ of your work,
Like a billboard on the side of the highway I was traveling.
And then after the turmoil and upset of divorce
Where I could have come back to you SO easily
And yet didn’t; I found things to fill the void for a while.
And then, I found a godly man to spend the rest of my days with
Without even checking… you were obviously inside that choice
Even if it was just the hidden and subconscious part of me
That found the undercover godliness in him
My covert need and want, that found fulfillment from a privately held source
Like two lovers meeting in secret, undercover of night
Waiting for the right time to come into the light
Which led to our marriage… which led me to an exercise class
Where another of your obedient children was waiting for me
Kim, who, also took opportunities to share your strength,
Your love, your light, with me.
I loved being cared about so much;
I was starting to think that there’s some kind of coincidence
To continue to “run into” such godly, humble people
But I still didn’t listen closely enough.
And finally to Charlie, your unashamed, faithful servant,
His life, the intriguing antithesis to mine…
While I was “with” You, he wasn’t.
And while he’s been with You, I slipped away.
He took every chance, every opening You gave,
To remind me of my spiritual heritage
Not only from my earthly father, but through
You, my heavenly Father too.
I summed it all up in my head
Wow! Four people You put in my path
Wherever it was taking me
To point me back to you.

WRONG!

The picture you gave me this morning
Was not as I had initially perceived
Me, on a road, alone, traveling this way and that
Briefly following those that you put in my path
I thought, to point me in the right direction.
When you spoke to me this morning
In pictures and images flashing by
I was alone in a dark cave, shivering,
Huddled against the cold, wet waves of despair.
A group of four arrived, calling my name,
Flashlight beams illuminating the depths to which I’d sunk
Another followed after the four when they shouted,
“We’ve found her! Here she is!”
Then, it was if I was in the brightest, warmest sunshine ever.
God picked me up, brushed the hair away from my face,
Looked me straight in the heart, and said,
“Oh! Yes…it is YOU; you’re home; no, no…don’t cry, you’re safe and you’re home now.”
My dearest heavenly Father, thank you for equipping your children,
For search and rescue missions,
I had to be found
And I had to be rescued.
Amen

a greyhound's love

I want to want a relationship with Jesus
Like my greyhound eats everything in sight or smell range!

There’s not a plate he passes by
Not a cup that goes unnoticed
That doesn’t get the once over…
Is this something he wants?
Can he eat it?
Can he take it away from here?
Back to his bed to quickly ingest it,
Before anyone notices its gone
To want it so badly,
That his mouth waters,
He inhales every morsel,
And sniffs around for more.

If I could not pass up one single opportunity
To let Jesus do his work in me
To let Christ become my life-long friend
To let others experience and find Him through me
To use all my senses to get closer to Him,
To take Him wherever I go,
To show Him off, everywhere I must be,
To mull Him over, all day long,
I would fulfill my purpose,
To love Him and to love others through Him.

lost

My mom is hurt,
And angry,
And resentful,
Sad.

She longs for my dad
Who loved her so
Who taught her all
The ways to go.

She lost him
One sad winter day
We lost her too
In certain ways.

same song

Amazing… I thought I was listening.
I thought I knew exactly what the singer
Wanted me to know
What escaped me was
What God wanted me to know
Opening my mind to the possibility
Of going back to where I’ve been
Of reverting to a good thing
Of falling back on waiting arms
Was when I heard God say
That He’s all I need
That He’d pick me up
That He’ll make me believe,
So that I can breathe again.

Recalling Daddy...just don't want to forget him...EVER.

Recalling Daddy…
I think the earliest recollection I have of my father was at age 3… he was sick… born with a physical heart defect (chambers didn’t grow together in the center properly). We lived in Levittown, PA and I was home with my Mom. I remember a car pulling up in front of the house and someone getting out of the car and helping my Dad out of the passenger side of the car and up to the house. After that, I remember seeing him lying on the living room floor – not talking, not moving. An ambulance came – I remember the paramedics surrounding him, doing their paramedic thing. They took him to the hospital where he had his first of three open-heart surgeries. I recall being toted back and forth from pre-school to one of my Mom’s friends’ home. I now know that was because my Mom was at the hospital with my Dad for days.

After that, while I was small, I have memories that act like VH1’s pop-up videos. The images pop-in and I remember bits and pieces… I remember him putting loud, sometimes obnoxious music on the big stereo on Saturday mornings and me and my sister, Beth, would, each with an ear as close to the speaker as possible, listening and wailing away at the top of our voices. The stereo was (is – I have it still) a 6’ long, 3’ tall walnut cabinet – a speaker in each end of the front, and a lid on the top between the speakers. Under the lid is where all the gizmos are… the turntable, 8-track, radio tuner and all the levelers and options a gadget-freak like me loves. Anyway… my Dad played old records for us – my favorite was (and is) Johnny Cash and... Mule Skinner Blues. :D I doubt ANY of you know that record... but I have the 45 so come on over & I'll spin it for ya! :)

There’s a quick moment in the car, driving home from church on Sunday… the day my parents forgot my littlest sister in the nursery at church (she was a newborn); the roads were snowy and icy. I remember asking my Dad about the salt and how that worked on the ice; and then they remembered Anne. U-TURN!

I remember my Dad mowing the lawn with a mower that plugged-in. Weird, huh?

My Dad taught me how to drive from about 14 or 15 on… got my first car at 17 - more to come on that...

on the verge

Am I who I was?
Can I be her, but better?
I have experienced more
I have seen more
I know more.

Who was I, and why did I un-become her?
She was judgmental.
In the quiet she wondered
Is He really there?
Is His care real?
How do I know?

In every other facet of life
I sought to know more
To know the intimate details
Of the how and why and the what ifs
How could I not apply the same fact-finding logic
To a God who “says” I am, therefore, you believe?

give to live

there's a thing i wanna tell ya
some stuff you should know
though it's gonna be hard to let go
gonna be tough to let it all out

when i was younger i thought i had to give to live;
to get the love i wanted
to get the praise
to be adored
give to get; that was the lesson
i internalized early on
no deposit, no return
a lesson i took to heart
i gave myself up; in lots of ways
more ways than one
to more than i wish i had.

it worked for a while; i gave and i got
not the forever & ever kind of love
I got love in return; temporary and shallow
i was temporary; life was shallow
i fell into a loop
into a trap of my own design
my family didn't know me
i didn't love anyone properly;
I didn’t love me
i couldn't explain what i thought anymore
couldn't tell anyone what i really believed
my beliefs had put me in a funk
led me straight to my personal hell.

When I found you I found me
When I love you; I love me
You made the escape route clear,
a part of me had to die...
the one part i'd clung to for so long
the part i thought would honor my dearly departed
i had to stop the giving with no return cycle
I could give it up; make a new start
Live life with love; not to get love
Giving doesn’t hurt anymore
Doesn’t expect compensation
Now living comes easy
I can give and live
This is the only life i want to invest in
The only way i want to live.

input

input is the thing
input is the golden ticket
thrill me; give me more
the new mind blowing drug

tell me you love me; i'll wonder why
just for the thoughts

tell me you hate me; i'll wonder why
just to process new input

tell me there's too much to know
i'll dive in and wallow in information overload
rather than live without
knowing isn't doing; but it runs a close second

still so much to experience
so much to know
how'll i ever get there i don't know
but that's the fun - finding more input
so out of control

a little of this; a little of that

i don't always finish
but i always start
you name it; i've done it
or thought about it
not much i wouldn't try
just for the experience
just for the thrill
if life can't thrill me
then why do it all?

not the best at anything
only the best at trying anything
from bowling leagues to motorcycles
spinning records to being a mom
one could say - i'm everywhere without
being anywhere
time for new
new hobby?
get the best money can buy
it's only money
i'll look like i'm the best
that i know what i'm doing
try real hard
maybe it comes easy, or hard
doesn't much matter; s'long as i'm doing new

new man?
get the one they say i can't
have him eatin outta my hand
beggin for more; for me
too beggy? turn 'em down
turn 'em out
do new

nothing new?
create new...
go back to school
get a new job
get a new hobby
get a new man
maybe, get a new line of thinking